you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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