I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
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