did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I currently don't understand fingers.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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