Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize