I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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