He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
