everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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