Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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