its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
