If i come over, it means nothing
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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