Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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