handjob tips. give me some.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
