Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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