summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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