Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
