You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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