Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
