Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
