Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
