What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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