I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
