I heard we made out
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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