dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
