You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
