You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
