I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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