i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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