Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
