You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
