I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
