If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize