census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
