I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
