you would pick up someone in the library
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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