In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
And then my night got REAL pukey
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
