I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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