Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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