So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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