So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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