I want to make a zoo with you.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
