I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
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I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize