Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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