love makes seman taste better
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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