i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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