So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize