i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
