You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
