She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize