I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize