I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
