Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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