So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
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