hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
