I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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