bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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