This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Couch. On fire.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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