He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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