I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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