I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
