you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
and you fell through a lawn chair
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
