you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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