New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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