i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
