maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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