I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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