I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize